silence

i used to be afraid of it. subconsciously i believed that silence equalled loneliness. but that was the farthest thing from the truth. i had to be forced into silence to learn what great potential silence actually possessed.

i sat in my apartment. no television. no incoming text messages or phone calls. no internet access. the majority of my friends were across the country. the weather was rather inclement, and i wasn't planning on driving in it... my mind wandered, wondering what to do. i had already finished several books and wasn't really in the mood to read more. i had already done my workout for the day. my apartment was clean and organized. everything was ready for school the next day. it was too early to sleep...

silence.

i roamed my apartment. said some random things to myself. contemplated the fact that i might be going insane.

talk to me.


ummmm... hello?

be still.


oh my word, i am going crazy!

be still and know.


oh.

psalms 46:10 - be still and know that I am God...


job 37:14 - stand still, and consider the wondrous works of God...


ecclesiastes 3:7 - a time to keep silence...

truth be told, i'm not very good at shutting up... even more so, i am not very good at doing nothing. but there was something within me that wanted this silence - this stillness. so i sat down and just started contemplating what God was doing. soon i was thinking about all He had done, was doing, and would do. then, i started to realize how much i had not taken to the Lord - fears, hopes, desires, questions... so i started praying out loud.

have you ever done that?

i suggest you try it sometime. i have done it before, but this time was a little different... i think i was so much more openly honest then ever before... i think we often fool ourselves and forget that we aren't fooling God.

God truly used the silence that night to work in my life. now, instead of being forced into silence to grow closer to Him - to hear Him fully - i often seek out those incredibly long and quiet moments when i know i will hear His still, small voice.