lists of no importance to anyone but me...

i am moving in 18 days. 

things i will miss:

• my family - as crazy as they may be
• my church - including pastor and staff
• my friends - especially those i am closest to and spend a great deal of time with
• my coffeeshops - it's a grind and the great awakening
• college classes - i liked the learning aspect... just not the projects and tests
• 3rd hour break - a time for friends and coffee (or tea) 
• my two window bedroom - which i had prayed for
• sunday morning nursery - i love those terrible 2 year olds!

things i am looking forward to:

• "growing up" - mentally, socially, spiritually, etc...
• stretching my faith - relying on God more than ever
• meeting new people - a whole new  church family... a whole new city
• teaching english - perhaps giving my students the same love for english
• new opportunities - not sure what they may be
• starbucks and borders - both within walking distance of where i live
• a new room - new decorations and freedom to decorate however i choose
• ... just seeing where God leads in the future

so that's that... God is good. He has been good to me in the past and He will continue to be good to me in the future.

"the rest of my life"

today i read someone's post that said, "today is the first day of the rest of my life...and i'm going to start living like it." now i think i know what she meant by it... but it got me thinking... how long is the "rest of my life"? the Bible says in proverbs 27:1, "Boast not thyself of to morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth."  

i believe that every day should be lived as though it were your last. at the end of each day i want to look back and know three things: that i pleased God with the choices i made, that i made a difference in the life of at least one person. and that i have no regrets.  

james 4:14 - "whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. for what is your life? it is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."

psalm 61:2

overwhelmed - to be overcome completely in mind or feeling

the other day on my facebook status i quoted a part of psalm 61:2 which says,  "... when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than i.'' when i had read it earlier that day it really made an impression... on that day i was overwhelmed in a good way. however on sunday being overwhelmed took on a new perspective and this verse became a promise i would cling to.

sunday it finally hit me. i am moving. i am teaching. i am leaving everything i have known and loved. until this point i have been pretty good at living... and i don't mean that in a prideful way... i think i have just been comfortable with everything i have taken on thus far. i was a good student, receptionist, secretary, barista, manager, etc... each of these came easily and naturally... but now, with teaching, i am stepping way out of my comfort zone. i know this is good for me because i will rely much less on myself and more on God... but i am scared to the point of tears... and if you know me, you know i don't cry. when i had my meeting with the principal on sunday, i seriously had to fight total meltdown... the principal has complete confidence in me... which only make me feel more pressure to succeed. i hate to disappoint people, and i really don't like making mistakes. 

overwhelmed. 

it's official... i am "in over my head," but i think this might be quite perfect. as said before, i will find that i must completely rely on God. i will remind myself that i can do all things through Christ... and only through Christ. He is the rock that is higher than I.

faith.

now i know you probably know this... and i know it too... nor have i doubted it... but today it seems to have become more real to me. the Bible is amazing. it truly is the Living Word.

today i decided to just randomly pick somewhere to read... and i prayed that God would bring me to the exact passage i needed. then i came to 2 corinthians 4 and i read verses 8 and 9... and then in church tonight he quoted these verses! so i think God might have been trying to get something into my head...

8. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;
9. Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

ok, now for some reason i had previously thought that was just a really good quote by some famous dead person... but it's in the Bible! and those verses were exactly what i needed to read... life is often troubling, life is most certainly perplexing, persecution will come; but with a great God, i have no reason to distress! i have no reason to despair! i am not forsaken! this is such an awesome thought to me. God is protecting me, guiding me, loving me. if i will trust Him, i can live a life of peace and joy. i will not let the ups and downs and endless confusions of life waver me. my stability can be found in Christ!

trusting is hard for me though. knowing it is one thing, but putting it into action is a whole other story. i'm a hands-on kind of person. i'm not controlling, but i like to know a situation is controlled. and i want to know how and why and who and where and what and when... but God doesn't work that way. that's kind of the point of faith.

so... i'm learning.

deuteronomy 28:1-9

1 And it shall come to pass, if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe and to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the LORD thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth: 

2 And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God. 

3 Blessed shalt thou be in the city, and blessed shalt thou be in the field. 

4 Blessed shall be the fruit of thy body, and the fruit of thy ground, and the fruit of thy cattle, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep. 

5 Blessed shall be thy basket and thy store. 

6 Blessed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and blessed shalt thou be when thou goest out. 

7 The LORD shall cause thine enemies that rise up against thee to be smitten before thy face: they shall come out against thee one way, and flee before thee seven ways. 

8 The LORD shall command the blessing upon thee in thy storehouses, and in all that thou settest thine hand unto; and he shall bless thee in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. 

9 The LORD shall establish thee an holy people unto himself, as he hath sworn unto thee, if thou shalt keep the commandments of the LORD thy God, and walk in his ways. 

it amazes me how much God wants to bless us and how much He has waiting for us if we simply choose to follow Him whole-heartedly... and yet we foolishly choose what we want and what we think we need... as though we know ourselves better than our very own Creator. I know God has a plan better for me than anything I can begin to imagine. I want those blessings that God has promised will overtake me if i follow Him! 

finally...

i'm graduated!!!

graduation shall soon commence!

oh my word! i logged into my blog and looked at my last post and thought seriously??? that was the last time i posted? SO MUCH IS GOING ON!

i always come up with these random deep thoughts and i think to myself hey, i should blog that! but then i never do. i intend to, but intentions don't often get one far... action does though... action will get you to a lot of places... like... guatemala... what? i don't know. 

so i am five days away from graduation... AAAAAAAAH!!! i'm excited to say the least... no seriously, the very least. i took my final final yesterday... and i did well which was a relief... today i had no classes or anything... i worked... now i am sitting at my computer, eating raspberry sorbet. i just sent an 8 page text... good grief.

enough of these random rantings...

i decided the other day, that i would vow silence from the time i woke up to five that evening (because i had to work... and it's rather difficult to work in a coffeeshop silently). several people asked why i did it. there were several reasons... the first was that i had simply always wanted to. the second was because i was inspired by this quote: 

Talking is a waste of breath and you cant hold the words or see them.

Or hold people to them.

then i decided that talking really is all to often nothing more than wasted breath, so i gave it up... and you know what? it really wasn't that hard. also, i learned so much from the experience. i learned that we say much that no one cares about. we speak unnecessarily. we don't listen nearly enough. and thinking should be more actively involved in speech. 

so give it a try! go a day without speaking. listen. think. 

peace, love, and acai berries (cuz they are amazing, duh!)